Nowhere does Ms. Rajchel condescend or preach. This is a book about making it through a difficult time and healing from it. She is very right to point out that people, especially women, feel a great deal of pressure to get married and provide their parents with grandchildren, among other requirements. To this end, many people view divorce as a failure. It is not. It is often the best solution to a bad situation.
Ms. Rajchel walks the reader through several different approaches to dealing with divorce, from handling the inevitable feelings of shame and failure, to finding a life for yourself outside a relationship. I am especially impressed by her handparting ritual. I included such a ritual in my recent book Ariadne’s Thread and I honestly felt a little awkward doing so. We are so well trained to believe that the breakup of a marriage is a failure that acknowledging it with a ritual seems almost inappropriate. Well, it’s not. We need to recognize the changes in our lives, the shifts from one stage of existence to another. We also need to admit that no one is perfect and that people change over time, two facts that often lead to the end of a relationship.
I wish I had read this book twenty years ago, when I went through a divorce. It probably wouldn’t have lessened my pain, but it would have given me the tools to deal with it and move forward in my life more easily. If you or someone you know is dealing with the collapse of a marriage, this book is definitely worth your time.